It's Not 'Goodbye,' It's 'See You Later'

Today was the last time Hannah and I will meet this semester. I got her a little "Christmas Gift" of a mug with a polar bear and filled it with chocolate. Last meeting she showed me her two other Christmas gifts she had every received so I knew that she needed more! 

We ran up to each other and hugged. I handed her the mug and a copy of my family Christmas card that I had written for her. I explained to her friend what Christmas cards are as Hannah opened the card. Tears welled in our eyes as she read the card and looked closely at the picture of my family. She hugged me twice more. 

In attempt to change the subject from leaving I asked about her exams at which she rolled her eyes. She just said they went ok but they were done. Haha. I love it! It's so exactly how I would respond. She told me that she is all packed for her flight tomorrow and she was beyond excited. Her face lit up and I couldn't help but smile. Her parents are just going to fall over when they see her! I can't wait to hear how it goes! She hugged me twice more and said thank you for everything. I turned to her, "Thank YOU for everything!" I responded, and we laughed. 

It's sad to think that we won't see each other until I get back to TCU in August and even then, she might transfer. Our paths might never cross again which breaks my heart, but I told her that even if she transfers, we will meet up again one day. I mean, a few weeks ago she told me that I had to come to her wedding one day so we better!!! I do love a wedding! I told her to continue posting pictures on Facebook and Instagram. She said of course and we hugged yet again. 

Then we parted ways. Not forever, but for now. 

In Preparation

Hannah and I met for coffee. She was beaming. We met, hugged, and discussed how long it had been since we have seen each other. It's amazing how much a few shorts weeks can fly by but feel like a lifetime away. I have missed her! 

Hannah explained that she has finals soon. Oh no! She, like I often did in the past, complained about her writing teacher. Writing is frustrating for me and my native language is English- I can't imagine what it must be like for her! She told me that the writing final is the only final she is concerned about passing. It must be so worrisome. 

She soon tossed her worries about her exams to the side as she told me about her exciting anticipation of her upcoming trip home! This will be the first time she gets to go home to her family in more than a year and a half. A year and a half. What!? I miss my family so much after a few months- I can't even imagine! No wonder she was beaming with excitement. Her voice sped as she explained all of the gifts she has purchased over the past few weeks for her young sisters. She continued chatting about how excited they were to see her and such. I can totally relate to buying gifts for my whole family. It's one of my favorite parts of Christmas- gift giving. We then had to discuss where to find the perfect wallet for her mom. This is literally my struggle every year- getting my mom the perfect gift because that's exactly what she deserves for everything she does for her children! I asked if she was going to get her dad a gift and she said no. When I asked why she said that he doesn't appreciate gifts and that he really just wants to see her and spend time with her. That makes my heart melt. Dads are seriously the best. I cannot wait for him to get to see her in only a few days! 

I think she had a lot on her mind because she then went on to list everything she had to get done before she left including packing and cleaning. She invited me to dinner which was so sweet! 

This meeting really made me realize how much I am going to miss Hannah! She is such a fun person to be around and such a great human being! I'm glad we will get to see her once more before she leaves!!! 

A Reason to Celebrate

            It had been way too long since I had seen Hannah. I have missed her and was so excited to be meeting with her again! I got to Union Grounds a few minutes early because I was so excited! Hannah strolled in and looked excited to see me too. We went to Chick-fil-la to get her French fries and lemonade.

            We first discussed her big test she took a few weeks ago. She explained that she did indeed find her passport (finally!) and got to take the test. She got a 5.5. She says the highest score is an eleven but that she was thrilled with a 5.5. She told me later that she felt bad that she did so well and others didn’t. Hannah is a very kind and thoughtful girl. I appreciate her genuine personality!

            Hannah went on to tell me that she gets to go home!!! Her eyes sparkled and told me that she had just spent all of her allowance on gifts for her family! She will be traveling home on December 12^th, hours after she gets out of school. She has not been home for nearly a year and a half. My heart broke a little when she told me this. She continued about her silly little sisters and her mother, but then she told me that the only reason she gets to go home is because her father is so ill. I did not want to pry but she mentioned that he had been in the hospital for months.  

            Hannah continued on about her amazing, large family. She pulled out her phone and showed me pictures of her aunt’s wedding. This conversation quickly took a quick turn to weddings due to my complete and utter obsession with weddings. To my surprise, aunt would wear what I would call a “typical” wedding dress: strapless, elaborate etc. She continued to show me the pictures of henna tattoos that are designed onto the bride’s hands and up her arms. She was very clear that nobody can see the bride’s face on the wedding day. I loved that aspect of it! The bride’s mother covers the bride’s face in the morning and she continues her day with her head covered. The women that tattoo her arms only see her arms. After, there is a wedding with only female attendants. After that is when the bride and groom meet up for a huge celebration of dancing and eating. I was in awe. Her pictures were beautiful of not only her aunt but of her entire family, the event, and even the location.

            We continued to chat as I leaned closer and closer in dying for more information. She ended the conversation with showing me her dream wedding dress. She then looked up to me and said, “I hope you can come to my wedding one day.” It took all that I could to not tear up.

            The pair of us walked back through campus together as Hannah discussed how important praying for other people is. She said she would pray for me and that I should pray for myself because if I did not pray for myself than it is as if I lost hope. I will have to pray an extra bit for Hannah’s family this week!

            I love that even though we may come from different backgrounds, we are still young adults with similar hopes and dreams. We both dream about our wedding day and marrying our prince charming that simply sweeps us off of our feet. We dream of happiness and family. We dream of celebration!

“Perhaps it seemed to me that I had several more lives to live, and could not spare any more time for that one. It is remarkable how easily and insensibly we fall into a particular route, and make a beaten track for ourselves.”

This quote really stood out to me as I read the passages from Walden. It is interesting to think that as humans grow from children to adults, we go through so many stages of life. We may even be able to call such time periods different lives that we live. The person one is at the age of four is (good thing) not the person that one is at the age of 14 and the same for 20.

As I entered college, this was a thought that rushed through my head time and time again. Every few years it was a different school: elementary, middle, high school, and now college—different adventures. But what’s next? After four years I will graduate (hopefully) and start my career. Four years after I’ll still be chugging along with my career. Four years after that, what will be new?

For these reasons, this quote really stood out to me. I have known my path and where I was going since I was a toddler: preschool, elementary school, middle school, high school, college. And then? We go through all of this constant change to seek consistency. We strive for a steady job, a steady income, a steady life. Don’t we? Or is that just what we are told?

If we all accomplished such a life, wouldn’t we all be bored out of minds? Robots that go through the motions of the same thing everyday.

When I grow up, I want to be…? For years I have answered this question with, “A teacher,” but I think I would like to change my answer. When I grow up, I would like to be a teacher among many other things. I don’t know what the next few decades will bring as far as professions, but I do know that I would also like to live different lives. I would like to remember not to be scared to live different lives. I think what I want to be when I “grow up” is happy. If being a teacher makes me happy then I want to be a teacher. If one day it stops making me happy, I hope that I have the courage to start a new life.

If my life becomes one of a beaten track, I am ok with that. Consistency is ok with me in moderation. I want to explore this world, but I also want to have a base, a calling, I need to know who I am, and if I spend my life living too many lives, couldn’t I lose that?

This quote makes me think and reevaluate my dreams for my future. It gives me hope and courage, but it also gives me a realization of what I want with my future. And that is to be happy! Thanks, Walden.

            In the wise words of Disney’s Pocahontas, “You never step in the same river twice.” I remember being overwhelmed by those words as a child. What did that mean? She obviously was stepping into the same river! Duh!

            As our class explores water on a deeper level, this quote has replayed in my head again and again. In the last few weeks we have explored the symbolism of rivers in both A River Runs Through It and The River Why. In these films, we discussed the rivers representing a rebirth and finding peace. To Pocahontas, a river is never the same. Each water molecule passing through a river is new. Maybe this is why rivers can be a sense of rebirth. When a person is reborn they are not leaving themselves, their bodies, just like the river never looks like it changes- from the outside. What makes up the river, each molecule, is different though. As a person is reborn, they are made up of new thoughts and ideas too.

            I love Pocahontas’ view of rivers because she refuses to fall into the repetitious lifestyle that many of us tend to accept. To Pocahontas, every experience is an adventure, a chance to explore something new. She refuses to take things at face value as she dives deeper into everything she does and everyone she meets to find out their purpose and what makes them tick. This philosophy allows her to want to know more about John Smith which leads her to find not only love but find peace between two societies. Her mindset was the only thing that allowed her to give strangers the chance to show her who they really were.

            Nothing in life is certain except for death and uncertainty. Embracing uncertainty and exploration can be life changing in the best way possible. Maybe we should all try to be a little more like Pocahontas and never step into the same river twice.